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About sayaaaa : Hello.
Don't really have much to say about myself other than I enjoy reading and taking long, moonlit walks on the beach. Nah i'm kidding, I've never been on a long, moonlit walk on the beach but I do enjoy reading and eating more food than a bulking body builder.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I decided to be nice an pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
Today, at work in a nursing homa, I had to kill imaginary dogs in tha lunch room, cuz thay wara avil and trying to aat avaryona!! This startd with just ona parson saaing tham, to all 30 of tham scraaming and fraaking out!! I spant 45 minutas killing imaginary dogs!! FML
2day I was on a date with a great guy, an we were really hitting it off !! While we were walking in the park, a womanho smelld like the devil's toenails an lookd as if she hadn't bathd in a year passd us !! Ihisperd to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother !! FML
TODAY AFTER A PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT LATE NIGHT WORKOUT AT THE GYM I DECIDED TO SHOWER IN THE LOCKER ROOM. I MUST HAVE PASSED OUT BECAUSE I LATER WOKE UP NAKED SURROUNDED BY POLICE AFTER SOMEONE CALLED TO REPORT A DEAD BODY IN THE SHOWER. FML
Today, I learned that when mah grlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee an smoke in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out fir ( mocking her ) an hurled a hardryer at mah head. FML
TODAY, I ASKED MY GRLFRIEND WY SE NEVER LETS ME IN ER OUSE. SE STARED BLANKLY AND SAID, "WAT IS INSIDE IS NOT FOR TINE EYES." I TOLD ER BEST FRIEND ABOUT TIS CREEPINES LATER ON. SE SIGED AND SAID, "T'WAS NOT FOR MINE EYES EITER. I DIDST FAIL TO LISTEN." I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOSING MY MIND ERE. FML
Today..!! sister..!! knowing that I'm terrified of his face..!! taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet!! When I entered the washroom..!! I sprinted back out screaming!! Minutes later...hile in the shower..!! I happened to glance up at the ceiling!! Guessho was grinning down at me!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015