savysnugglebear

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savysnugglebear

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 577
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About savysnugglebear : Follow me on Instagram.. Savannahjean_xo

18, nursing assistant, college life

savysnugglebear's page activity

Visits<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:33pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:56am<b>JonathanV123</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 3:51am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:15am<b>Aiden89</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:07pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:10am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:04pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:01am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:50pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:57am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:56pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 12:54pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:35pm<b>marcuscummings</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:45pm<b>unotrea</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:08am<b>foog19</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:56am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:06pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 2:33am

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savysnugglebear's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

by brokeandalone / 07/30/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Money

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids