saurik

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saurik

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1491
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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saurik's page activity

Visits<b>KiaKarma</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:19pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 9:01am<b>Matthew86</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 2:12am<b>AvSvart</b> - the 12/02/2012 at 4:28pm<b>whateverer</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 6:33am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 11:04am<b>j_rand2010</b> - the 04/30/2010 at 4:05pm<b>JDM_AE86</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 1:07am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/12/2010 at 11:39pm<b>Tadeusz</b> - the 04/12/2010 at 11:56am

saurik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

saurik's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 7:21am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

by jacky tu / 10/15/2010 at 11:06pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

by Peekaman / 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

by Goody2shoes / 07/21/2010 at 12:08pm / India (Maharashtra) / Health

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

by thanksmom / 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

by Cody / 07/19/2010 at 9:59am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

by knighton16 / 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

by lonely / 07/15/2010 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

by sarah / 07/14/2010 at 12:32am / United States / Health

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, my mother-in-law grounded me because I went to the store in the "dangerous" rain. My husband says that if I don't obey then we won't work out. FML

by anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Miscellaneous