Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sassypants93

Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 1:07am) | Search for a member

sassypants93

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1274
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sassypants93 : I may use some bad puns. They just come easily to me. Most of the time I hold back though. I just get on FML for a quick laugh or two. You can message me anytime. I may take a little while to get back to you because I don't look at my messages all the time.

sassypants93's page activity

Visits<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:25pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:54pm<b>CollinCrafts</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:48pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:59pm<b>nicr_freeman</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:32pm<b>TTesla</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:36pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:04am<b>qweasd523</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:42am<b>yareens</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:38am<b>iCameNURI</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:30pm<b>JesusOfNazareth</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 12:25am<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 6:10pm<b>graceh58</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:30pm<b>xfireds</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:11am<b>maxwellkids</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:50am<b>AragornEllesar</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:45pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>Mahenoor</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 4:58pm

sassypants93's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of sassypants93's badges

sassypants93's favorite FMLs

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (2263)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36061) - you deserved it (3299)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

#20958414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (3603)

On 11/15/2013 at 4:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42842) - you deserved it (7986)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42424) - you deserved it (6623)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (2924)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (5273)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51030) - you deserved it (34315)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

#20790603
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56817) - you deserved it (6056)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48159) - you deserved it (3428)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

#20026176
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (6156)

On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

#19997949
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)

Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML

#19801303
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7167) - you deserved it (53526)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm - love - by JPTK (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
595 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (53012)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#19133346
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (18290)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by me (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: