About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
by notamathematician / 03/07/2010 at 5:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Bruised / 03/07/2010 at 1:09am / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
by me / 03/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
by Octobre / 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by Lucy / 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML
by happybirthday / 03/06/2010 at 2:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Fatty / 03/06/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend of a year decided to confess to me that almost everything he has told me in our relationship has been a lie. This includes telling me that he was single when we first met, telling me that he loved me, and telling me that I was beautiful. FML
by ART / 03/06/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
by drunk / 03/06/2010 at 2:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML
by AlyssaBC / 03/06/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML
by Lost... / 03/06/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
by mariah_1_11 / 03/06/2010 at 12:14am / United States (Indiana) / Love