Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

saruhhh

Online | Search for a member

saruhhh

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7788
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.

saruhhh's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:54pm<b>zappa9</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:50am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:09pm<b>hulopro</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:36pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:32pm<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Woofum</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 3:58pm<b>BlackPanther19</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 4:11pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:33pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:33pm<b>PterodactylMan</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 8:29am<b>lfrider92</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 9:43pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:55am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:26pm<b>mattlw</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:10pm<b>RenosShark</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:54pm<b>VannahJane</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 5:47pm

saruhhh's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of saruhhh's badges

saruhhh's favorite FMLs

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (2367)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9418) - you deserved it (37304)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (2831)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52191) - you deserved it (3764)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (7677)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53601) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML

#8654790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (1571)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:04am - money - by Julia - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

#8646010
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5790) - you deserved it (39863)

On 02/25/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by djshahso - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

#8643590
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (5747)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36779) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (3010)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14325) - you deserved it (29751)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (4796)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (4017)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11171) - you deserved it (37097)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: