About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML
by itsEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML
by leenibeani4 / 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
by space_cadet90818 / 03/07/2010 at 7:16pm / United States (Vermont) / Health
Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML
by ohshit / 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by choldcreations / 03/07/2010 at 9:12am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
by notamathematician / 03/07/2010 at 5:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Bruised / 03/07/2010 at 1:09am / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
by me / 03/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
by Octobre / 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by Lucy / 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals