About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
by MrsRockyHorror / 03/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML
by el211 / 03/15/2010 at 3:35am / United States (New York) / Love
by kukadaman / 03/15/2010 at 2:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
by Hatty / 03/14/2010 at 6:50am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML
by hurt / 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 4:17am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
by nerdygirl101 / 03/13/2010 at 12:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML
by EwokLover17 / 03/13/2010 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML
by botharebad / 03/13/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…