About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by meowmeow / 09/21/2010 at 12:38am / Australia / Health
by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML
by latenightbite / 03/16/2010 at 7:17pm / United States / Love
Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML
by annonoymus / 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation
Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML
by LonelyBoy / 03/16/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
by ManInTrouble / 03/16/2010 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
by stunned / 03/15/2010 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by MrsRockyHorror / 03/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Vermont) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off,… Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend… Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas…