About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML
by Jer / 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by meowmeow / 09/21/2010 at 12:38am / Australia / Health
by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous