About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2013 at 11:53am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm / United States / Work
Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML
by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML
by Jer / 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Money
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love