About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 1:18am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML
by hamiltonma / 07/31/2015 at 11:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML
by mississpissi / 07/14/2015 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Transportation
by 4am blues / 07/13/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by brichard22 / 07/12/2015 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by whymomwhy / 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
by Julianapilikusplatosophophes / 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML
by foxownerapperantly / 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Transportation
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
by iamfab / 06/06/2015 at 1:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML
by VeganVampyre / 05/23/2015 at 1:07pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Animals
by Swabidizop / 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Suicidal_Divide / 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals
by immaloser95 / 01/06/2015 at 4:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Health