Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

saruhhh

Online | Search for a member

saruhhh

3Fucked!

saruhhh
  • Town/Country : Howell, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9815
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.

saruhhh's page activity

Visits<b>MuntedAU</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 3:20am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:40pm<b>ocrud</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:13am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:03am<b>uzinugget</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:52pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:32am<b>jwpotatoe</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:31pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:49pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:59am<b>klaire09</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 4:30pm<b>bjake93mec</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:18am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:12pm<b>cccook1547</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:22pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:25am<b>wearablepear7</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:07am<b>baileynicole2</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:50pm<b>clumsyninja13</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:53pm

Fucked!<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:40am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:10am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:41am

saruhhh's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of saruhhh's badges

saruhhh's favorite FMLs

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (214212) - you deserved it (11337)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

#1411450
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47329) - you deserved it (12542)

On 04/28/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109723) - you deserved it (8563)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

#1400081
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (72904)

On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (21320)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76380) - you deserved it (8971)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76380) - you deserved it (8971)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (59484)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

#1125126
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (58209)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

#1123097
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55636) - you deserved it (2306)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:48pm - health - by TT (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64784) - you deserved it (3226)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104200) - you deserved it (6081)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (15766)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

#1068348
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161853) - you deserved it (9237)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML

#1054756
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79619) - you deserved it (6265)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: