About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
by fatcheeks / 03/02/2010 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Jeff / 03/02/2010 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML
by BirthdayGirl / 03/02/2010 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML
by SingleSara. / 03/02/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
by pizzafaceinc / 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by sdauner / 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML
by uwbeautyqueen12 / 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
by GuiltByTenuousAssociation / 03/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
by mav3rick91 / 03/01/2010 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML
by Jeri / 02/26/2010 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Health
by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals
by Julia / 02/26/2010 at 12:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…