About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML
by uwbeautyqueen12 / 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
by GuiltByTenuousAssociation / 03/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
by mav3rick91 / 03/01/2010 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML
by Jeri / 02/26/2010 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Health
by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals
by Julia / 02/26/2010 at 12:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
by djshahso / 02/25/2010 at 7:14pm / United States / Health
Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML
by hatemyjob / 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML
by Ringless / 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML
by compguy / 02/25/2010 at 10:39am / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
by popeye / 02/25/2010 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML
by SayWhat / 02/25/2010 at 6:46am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous