About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by ugh / 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm / United States / Love
Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML
by dpod121 / 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love
by J-Ro / 03/04/2010 at 12:03am / United States / Love
Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML
by WhiteLiar / 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
by icegirl38 / 03/03/2010 at 10:09am / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Health
Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML
by ouch... / 03/03/2010 at 6:13am / United States (Alabama) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by holycrap / 03/03/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
by fatcheeks / 03/02/2010 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Jeff / 03/02/2010 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML
by BirthdayGirl / 03/02/2010 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give… Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are… Today, I met with a student in office hours to discuss an assignment when my nose started bleeding.…