Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Taday mah 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between mah thumb and pointer finger. I putted it in mah mouth and crushed it between mah teeth 4 a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today,ile visiting in-laws, I went into tere ome office in serec of a seet of scrap paper . Instead, I found printed copies of every email an IM usband an I ad ever sent eac oter, including pictures . Higligted an annotated by is moter . fat FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal . FML
Today , I Was Swimming In Te Fast Lane At Te Pool. A Guy In Blue Trunks Was Swimming Slowly And Really Getting On Everyone's Nerves. I Took A Break , And Looking Around I Couldn't See Im. I Turned To Te Guy Next To Me And Said , ( Finally , Mr. Blue Trunks As F**ked Off. ) It Was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
Today,hile I was at girlfriend's house, I pickd up her cat an held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managd to somehow leap out of hands an attach himself to chest, claws extendd. I now have four one-inch-long gashe on chest. FML
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends . A pretty redhead cummd on the screen . One of my guy friends leand over to me and said, "Have u noticd there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot wat color my hair is . FML
Today, I realizd that mah husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only 4 me to witness him being glud to his laptop all day an all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existd. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax an new swimsuit fir the occasion. My boyfriend was bieng romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun an games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Today... My Boyfriend Wantd Me To Send Him A Pic Of Myself Bieng Happy Fir His Phone's Caller ID. So I Pickd Out A Picturehere I'm Grinning A Big Grin... Clearly Very Happy Lyk He Askd. He Replies Back... ( You Look Wierd There. Send A Pretty One. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015