About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML
by dpod121 / 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love
by J-Ro / 03/04/2010 at 12:03am / United States / Love
Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML
by WhiteLiar / 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
by icegirl38 / 03/03/2010 at 10:09am / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Health
Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML
by ouch... / 03/03/2010 at 6:13am / United States (Alabama) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by holycrap / 03/03/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
by fatcheeks / 03/02/2010 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Jeff / 03/02/2010 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML
by BirthdayGirl / 03/02/2010 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML
by SingleSara. / 03/02/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
by pizzafaceinc / 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by sdauner / 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…