About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML
by almostadult / 01/14/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 10:44am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML
by mutantprincess / 01/12/2016 at 5:48am / Australia / Animals
by _7_8_9__1 / 01/11/2016 at 10:25pm / United States / Health
by Labro9 / 01/07/2016 at 3:15am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML
by cat lady / 01/06/2016 at 10:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Animals
by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work