About saruhhh : i'm sarah. i live in michigan.
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saruhhh's favorite FMLs
by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by jshum / 09/13/2016 at 11:02am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
by CoA / 09/06/2016 at 7:40am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 9:13pm / Transportation
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 1:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Hreid254 / 02/05/2016 at 11:07am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Lord_Nick / 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
by Snowman / 01/24/2016 at 5:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML
by almostadult / 01/14/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 10:44am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML
by mutantprincess / 01/12/2016 at 5:48am / Australia / Animals
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…