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sariannacanna's favorite FMLs
by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
by ladytyy / 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML
by Sarah / 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by j1hill33 / 07/14/2011 at 1:09am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML
by skidoosh / 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…