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sariannacanna

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sariannacanna
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1402
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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sariannacanna's favorite FMLs

Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML

#17804369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (2306)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21655) - you deserved it (13914)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (7851)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17786213
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (4278)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (2304)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

#17773363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (43138)

On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (5296)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6258) - you deserved it (43026)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80455) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56190)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

#17683604
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (2221)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (1143)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States



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