sariannacanna

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sariannacanna

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2762
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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sariannacanna's page activity

Visits<b>britbear0731</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:06pm<b>bethyc4</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 4:49am<b>justaguynl</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:10pm<b>notapotato</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 2:12pm<b>a33324332</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:33pm<b>BballHottie34</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 7:05pm<b>oA_Fiasco</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 6:14am

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sariannacanna's favorite FMLs

Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 6:39am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

by shithead / 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

by unknown / 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

by Fattymuch / 09/14/2011 at 10:27am / India (Karnataka) / Health

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

by b3ardown23 / 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

by aroman2312 / 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous