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sariannacanna's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML
by apparentlyunsexy / 10/27/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
by crankg / 10/21/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
by Emily S / 10/09/2011 at 1:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by hairless / 10/08/2011 at 11:53pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
- Today, I realized how bad our scorpion problem is when I was woken up to a scorpion stinging me in… Today, I got home from a double shift to find my husband in bed with my sister. Also, I found out I… Today, after coming home from working two jobs, I find that my unemployed sister-in-law has trashed…