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sariannacanna

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sariannacanna
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1412
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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sariannacanna's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (5529) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18041) - you deserved it (22233)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18041) - you deserved it (22233)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (2204)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67997)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7345) - you deserved it (68934)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (4273)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (4273)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (17938)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -



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