Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sarcasticSOB

Search for a member

sarcasticSOB

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sarcasticSOB : Hey! I check fml often so message me if you want and I'll reply! Have a good day!

sarcasticSOB's page activity

Visits<b>Gingerness23</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:17am<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:41pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:19pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 8:58pm<b>1sweetsin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:07am<b>KaylaMarie00</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:19pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Neandertal</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:33am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 2:39am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:18pm<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 8:24pm<b>jesstanothergurl</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 8:01am<b>hannahsnyder69</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 7:30am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:27am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:03am<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:31pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 5:02pm<b>ClaireWinchester</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:26am

sarcasticSOB's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of sarcasticSOB's badges

sarcasticSOB's favorite FMLs

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30646) - you deserved it (8293)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56706) - you deserved it (5511)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48937) - you deserved it (7113)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75905) - you deserved it (3696)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77997) - you deserved it (7080)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69741) - you deserved it (7848)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (7952)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

#20115007
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17392) - you deserved it (1375)

On 10/13/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by bubblebuttfuckfart (woman) - Ireland

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (3974)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5934) - you deserved it (26868)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: