sarcasmOffended

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sarcasmOffended

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1566
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sarcasmOffended : Message me if you atleast like ONE of my interests:

Karneval
Homestuck
Block B
QuestionableContent
Naruto
Aoharaido
Drawing
Editing
Sims2

sarcasmOffended's page activity

Visits<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:55pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:29pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:01pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 10:59pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:38am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:57pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:42pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:55pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:27am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:23pm<b>therosh</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:40pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:44pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:22pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:51pm<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:27pm

sarcasmOffended's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of sarcasmOffended's badges

sarcasmOffended's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

by Uncomfortable / 05/17/2013 at 3:21am / Intimacy

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

by LordCrafte / 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

by lackadaisy_leah / 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm / United States / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

by asdffhhjk / 05/15/2013 at 4:08am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

by for the love of god / 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

by Locked Out / 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

by sumhub94 / 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

by magomag / 05/14/2013 at 12:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy