sarcasmOffended

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sarcasmOffended

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1714
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sarcasmOffended : Message me if you atleast like ONE of my interests:

Karneval
Homestuck
Block B
QuestionableContent
Naruto
Aoharaido
Drawing
Editing
Sims2

sarcasmOffended's page activity

Visits<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:55pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:29pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:01pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 10:59pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:38am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:57pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:42pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 8:53am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:55pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:27am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:23pm<b>therosh</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 8:40pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:44pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:22pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:34am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 7:51pm<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 4:15pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:27pm

sarcasmOffended's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of sarcasmOffended's badges

sarcasmOffended's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

by hesgonnahateme / 06/06/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

by moreliketurdmart / 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

by my_only_friend / 06/03/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

by anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 12:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

by Fuperman / 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm / France (Lorraine) / Health

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Miscellaneous