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sarbear11753

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sarbear11753
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1899
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarbear11753's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

#18520794
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10635) - you deserved it (36498)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm - health - by ms piggy - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21589) - you deserved it (7047)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14435) - you deserved it (32277)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24620) - you deserved it (15921)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46257) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

#18460733
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (25544)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm - misc - by picklemonger - Canada

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (10365)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7311)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (4343)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43529) - you deserved it (5327)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (7451)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (2200)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)



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