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Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (2176)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I was able to check my voicemail and email for the first time in two weeks. The only message I got was from my landlord telling me that the house I'm renting is in foreclosure, and I needed to have all my stuff out in ten days. He left the message nine days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (3932)
On 09/03/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21858) - you deserved it (36763)
On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (7230)
On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (3496)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by helenablitz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13196) - you deserved it (37282)
On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55071) - you deserved it (2643)
On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (3732)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32488) - you deserved it (6420)
On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (37701)
On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49028) - you deserved it (2247)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35068) - you deserved it (1962)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11332) - you deserved it (31734)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (4736)
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35564) - you deserved it (5409)
On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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