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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sarawr

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sarawr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9640
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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sarawr's favorite FMLs

Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (49811) - you deserved it (19629)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64267) - you deserved it (3598)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (51523) - you deserved it (1670)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (80411) - you deserved it (15484)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (5238)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks (36959) - you deserved it (1565)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

#1187593 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (44696) - you deserved it (6715)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (42274) - you deserved it (17344)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

#1120494 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (81468) - you deserved it (6836)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (3490)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (8739) - you deserved it (45284)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)