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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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saranottelling

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saranottelling
  • Town/Country : Wal-Mart, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 331
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About saranottelling : ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hi, I'm Sara.
I am just an average teen who immaturely laughs at poop jokes and has an unhealthy obsession with cookies. I'm not into the cool teen stuff like drinking and having crazy parties, so I spend my time here.

I have a sad life.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Some Boring Things About Me
☺I enjoy sugar.
☺I read a lot. Mostly random authors and classics.
☺I like puppies
☺My lifelong dream is to own a Canadian. I'll feed it, and play with it, and walk it every day! :)
^CANADIAN UPDATE- I might be going to Toronto over the summer. Here I come, Canadians. Here I come.
☺Next to Canadians, I've always wanted to own a mountain goat (my profile picture).
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

saranottelling's last visitors

Freezemichaelm1290Zebrasofa13louisefmylifeTigerTattoomustangseanpendatikCuervo23TikwichkaHannaleatruthisRelative

saranottelling's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

saranottelling's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (18530) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (3651)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

#7521211 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (2161) - you deserved it (33160)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5183) - you deserved it (39127)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

#6840782 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (1231)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:32am - work - by Van (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

#6631628 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (1805)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (3838)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (54502) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (19122)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2495)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (97761)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (11154)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)