saranottelling

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saranottelling

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3121
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About saranottelling : My lifelong dream is to own a Canadian. I'll feed it and walk it everyday!

saranottelling's page activity

Visits<b>holly_fly</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:00am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:06am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:45pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:07am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:11pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:43pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:35pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:34pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:56am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:00pm<b>SecretlyACarrot</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:42pm<b>AndrewShults</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:26am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:04pm<b>heyo_mayo87</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:06pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:05am<b>imjustakid1987</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 2:42pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:39pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:12am

saranottelling's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of saranottelling's badges

saranottelling's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

by rainydays79 / 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

by Van / 12/20/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

by missmycomp / 11/12/2009 at 9:36am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

by micahmatt / 08/26/2009 at 3:09am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

by roar_shark / 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love