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sarahannewrap's favorite FMLs
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
by steven / 01/24/2013 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm / United States / Love
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
by milkshake / 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by frustrated / 01/22/2013 at 2:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by lesson.learned / 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML
by Beva / 01/17/2013 at 12:03am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
by Kallian / 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…