sarah58924

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Offline (the 12/15/2015 at 6:51am)

sarah58924

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 959
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarah58924's page activity

Visits<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 1:19pm<b>illosing</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 2:28pm<b>watsinausername</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 11:50pm

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sarah58924's favorite FMLs

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

by Cossack_Man / 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

by vomitingnow / 07/22/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

by R_U_CEREAL / 07/04/2009 at 4:58am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

by banana / 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

by thegoldenboy3 / 02/12/2009 at 7:14am / Spain (Andalucia) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

by #201 / 02/05/2009 at 8:23am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

by wtf / 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2009 at 11:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

by noname / 01/07/2009 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous