sarah58924

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Offline (the 12/15/2015 at 6:51am)

sarah58924

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 841
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarah58924's page activity

Visits<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 1:19pm<b>illosing</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 2:28pm<b>watsinausername</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 11:50pm

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sarah58924's favorite FMLs

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

by Toilettrash / 07/06/2012 at 6:51am / United States / Love

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Animals

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

by Courtney / 11/07/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

by Darcy / 10/26/2011 at 2:58am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

by Gross... / 08/16/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous