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sarah58924

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sarah58924
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 August 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarah58924's favorite FMLs

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (6179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6890) - you deserved it (20846)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (23725)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (2260)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17646) - you deserved it (2145)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (4836)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (12256)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10117) - you deserved it (28624)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (2301)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

#18181534
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (4102)

On 11/07/2011 at 1:49am - work - by Courtney - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

#18078526
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (3724)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:58am - intimacy - by Darcy (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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