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Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12192) - you deserved it (5437)
On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2240)
On 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by bittenbyadonkey (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in, mid sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (3041)
On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (4854)
On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5924) - you deserved it (18760)
On 10/09/2010 at 8:51pm - work - by fistpumpin4life - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to sit on the ground next to my crush at our college's free concert. Just as I took the final step toward him, somone ran into me causing me to trip and kick him in the crotch. He had to go to the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (1790)
On 10/02/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, and every day, a homeless looking man walks into my work, sits down and stares. I'm new to the job so, trying to make new friends, when the guy walked in this time, I went over to a co worker I was really clicking with, and went off about how creepy he was. He replied with "Who, my dad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (18473)
On 09/30/2010 at 4:19am - work - by simply2010 (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (1954)
On 09/30/2010 at 4:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12479) - you deserved it (26036)
On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11572) - you deserved it (17849)
On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (2267)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11844) - you deserved it (19540)
On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (4609)
On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (4856)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (10846)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
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