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sarah1024's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
sarah1024's favorite FMLs
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML
by Kelso / 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
by rtrim29 / 12/26/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Florida) / Health
by poorgirl / 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by mudafkrmas / 09/18/2009 at 12:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML
by matt5th35hit / 05/09/2009 at 4:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Gale / 01/13/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I watched pride and prejudice for the first time. I wanted to sit down and enjoy the movie… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…