About sarabraun8 : Talk shit, get hit ;)
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Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5326) - you deserved it (30847)
On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19991) - you deserved it (8837)
On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6391) - you deserved it (32918)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (5957)
On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (9532)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (2646)
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you deserved it (45218)
On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)
Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (7952)
On 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (3425)
On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)
Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (23549)
On 11/13/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by frenchboyfriend (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (2306)
On 10/01/2010 at 3:26pm - health - by unojo08 - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16958) - you deserved it (6609)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (3124)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got home from work after an eleven hour work day completely exhausted. But I promised myself I'd go for a run everyday. I went in the dark. A skunk chased me, and sprayed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (3877)
On 07/16/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by izzme79 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14730) - you deserved it (18242)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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