Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sarabellum93

Search for a member

sarabellum93

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1191
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sarabellum93's page activity

Visits<b>Julietta</b> - the 10/29/2010 at 3:49am

sarabellum93's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sarabellum93's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

#13454084
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (3800)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:18am - love - by lilshoobydoo14 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (20834)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

#13376999
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14343) - you deserved it (23114)

On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

#13370943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (5349)

On 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (14673)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose that much weight." FML

#13344865
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15572) - you deserved it (24754)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:59pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (5029)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10185) - you deserved it (31945)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (29130)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (12584)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7529) - you deserved it (71786)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

#13137584
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9176) - you deserved it (26586)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: