sarabellum93

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sarabellum93

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2209
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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sarabellum93's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:49pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:59am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:40am<b>Julietta</b> - the 10/29/2010 at 3:49am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:49am

sarabellum93's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sarabellum93's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

by dumped / 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

by Andiii / 07/26/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

by Username / 07/25/2010 at 10:32pm / Animals

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

by cameltoeyourface / 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

by anon / 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

by Whateversz / 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

by tstaeger / 07/24/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

by fiery / 07/23/2010 at 8:06pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

by Not So Smart / 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

by bored2death / 07/23/2010 at 6:15pm / United States / Animals

Today, while taking pictures by the pool, my friend wanted to use my camera. I told her to put the wrist strap on so it wouldn't fall into the pool. She dropped the camera while trying to put the strap on. FML

by Me. / 07/23/2010 at 1:58am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

by jennavankirk / 07/22/2010 at 7:08pm / United States / Love

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

by Nic / 07/22/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

by Elliot / 07/22/2010 at 11:10am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

by GuardOtto / 07/22/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Work