Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2920
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

sarabellum93's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:49pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:59am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:40am<b>Julietta</b> - the 10/29/2010 at 3:49am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:49am

sarabellum93's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sarabellum93's favorite FMLs

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

by alliez108 / 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

by sore / 04/19/2011 at 6:03am / Ireland (Limerick) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

by Username / 11/23/2010 at 1:50am / Intimacy

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

by pottyhostage / 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

by Anon / 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love