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sanguinerane

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sanguinerane
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  • Number of visits : 186
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sanguinerane's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (7743)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (58957) - you deserved it (2923)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (607)

I agree, your life sucks (87652) - you deserved it (18472)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (3191)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (68427)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (10355) - you deserved it (48138)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

#4506987 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (6379)

On 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm - love - by Mark (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

#4337327 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (1809)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (13921)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (10632)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (417)

I agree, your life sucks (56824) - you deserved it (11487)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (6758)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (763)

I agree, your life sucks (85078) - you deserved it (25503)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

#3969079 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (6401)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (6185)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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