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sanguinerane

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sanguinerane

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sanguinerane's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38338) - you deserved it (10212)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70421) - you deserved it (4218)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54170) - you deserved it (4338)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (91819)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (91819)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (91819)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (64790)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

#4506987
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (8171)

On 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm - love - by Mark (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

#4337327
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43590) - you deserved it (18897)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66915) - you deserved it (15318)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (8566)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)



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