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Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (4106)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (11058)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51181) - you deserved it (4035)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57361) - you deserved it (8138)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (94434)
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (16750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (4149)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45598) - you deserved it (4127)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (19363)
On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (7391)
On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (3957)
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36243) - you deserved it (7348)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (4671)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17269) - you deserved it (32620)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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