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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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sandwichbait

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sandwichbait
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 July 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 511
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sandwichbait's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (2317)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

#6510557 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (26084)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (21871)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (1533)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

#6062810 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (2112)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm - misc - by Bummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (5207)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (6128)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (6172)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32017) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66548) - you deserved it (9417)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5382) - you deserved it (69169)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (40889) - you deserved it (5329)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom