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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12961) - you deserved it (1081)
On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17974) - you deserved it (1456)
On 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by imawesome - United States
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3770) - you deserved it (7763)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (3747)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (3080)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7524) - you deserved it (1116)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11729) - you deserved it (953)
On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (4274)
On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (4838)
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (8112)
On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (4063)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States
Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (4872)
On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10125) - you deserved it (26222) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (20279) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15893) - you deserved it (2743)
On 01/05/2011 at 11:41am - work - by x_udontknowme_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
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