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2day my dad yet again utterd the words "well, that escalatd quickly,"hile watching the news . He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day . I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already . He raisd an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalatd quickly." FML

#20566988
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (51746)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was on te toilet,en I noticed looool I could see my daugter dancing in te oter room in te mrror, so I took a picture wit my pone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out tat I was visible in te picture, sitting on te toilet and smiling. fat FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (56571)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today... I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple an looool a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple... an the socks are too small. mega FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today... I Was At A Goodbye Dinner Wit Friends Before I Move Back To America. A Friend Called To Cry Over Relationsip Problems Se Refuses To Fix. Wile I Was Outside Trying To Politely Get Off Te Pone... My Friends Ate And Drank Everyting I'd Ordered And Closed Te Bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (5601)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking my doghen he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. fat FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (88271) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

TODAY, AFTAR I AD CANGAD MY NUMBAR TO GAT AWAY FROM MY ABUSIVA AX, MY MOM DACIDAD TO GIVA IM MY NAW ONA. SA INSISTS TAT I NAAD TO GIVA IM ANOTAR CANCA. FML

#20556707
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50783) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51711) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I kissed mah gorgeous new boyfriend 4 the first time. I ran mah hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out an five lice crawled onto mah hand. fat FML

#20554606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (6608)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today looool I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes to which he replied ( Try jogging asshole ) then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes. We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (19456)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist . I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality . mega FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46634) - you deserved it (6030)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today , a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks postd a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commentd congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who did 3 yeres ago. real FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49385) - you deserved it (11585)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States



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