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samyyo17

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samyyo17

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  • Number of visits : 42
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samyyo17's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (3066)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (3877)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (2121)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8297) - you deserved it (51636)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (7215)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (29721)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

#15693901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (3571)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (23673)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41557) - you deserved it (5344)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50357) - you deserved it (4920)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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