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samtheman66

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samtheman66
  • Town/Country : New Hampshire, U.S
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 547
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About samtheman66 : I am a professional rock climber!

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samtheman66's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24082) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

#16844513
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (16504)

On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (36656)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39727) - you deserved it (5390)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (58349)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37506) - you deserved it (11791)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (63192)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42533) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17536) - you deserved it (62190)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46218) - you deserved it (3809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (2615)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (3565)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (4131)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)



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