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samoht1997

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samoht1997

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  • Number of visits : 807
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samoht1997's page activity

Visits<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:01am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:23am<b>BIGBOY4rmAHM</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:05am

samoht1997's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of samoht1997's badges

samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (13409)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (32976)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9648) - you deserved it (45269)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17557) - you deserved it (4257)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5829) - you deserved it (44794)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (7203)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10833) - you deserved it (73047)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (27958)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (5411)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26161) - you deserved it (3193)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6496) - you deserved it (58163)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

#451
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15502) - you deserved it (24395)

On 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm - love - by nothisfault - Sent from mobile version



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