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samoht1997

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samoht1997

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  • Number of visits : 747
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

#21737
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (3180)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by melissa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (13371)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9675) - you deserved it (32860)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9620) - you deserved it (45146)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (4237)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5809) - you deserved it (44646)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50958) - you deserved it (7103)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10783) - you deserved it (72902)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7518) - you deserved it (27851)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (5403)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (57953)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version



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