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samoht1997

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samoht1997
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  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5239) - you deserved it (42222)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (6603)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you deserved it (67157)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (25289)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (2058)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5145) - you deserved it (51067)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

#451
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14407) - you deserved it (22666)

On 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm - love - by nothisfault - Sent from mobile version

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16375) - you deserved it (4381)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (2241)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version



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