Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

samoht1997

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

samoht1997

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 625
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

samoht1997's page activity

Visits<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:01am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:23am<b>BIGBOY4rmAHM</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:05am

samoht1997's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of samoht1997's badges

samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9613) - you deserved it (32683)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (43986)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16579) - you deserved it (4080)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5762) - you deserved it (44434)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49915) - you deserved it (6947)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (72768)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you deserved it (26826)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (5387)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6263) - you deserved it (56950)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

#451
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15402) - you deserved it (24222)

On 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm - love - by nothisfault - Sent from mobile version

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (5216)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (2489)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: