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samoht1997

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samoht1997
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  • Number of visits : 475
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12653) - you deserved it (44205)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97783) - you deserved it (244350)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37991) - you deserved it (3924)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (20085)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9064) - you deserved it (35571)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (110789)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76148) - you deserved it (23620)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

#21737
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by melissa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13814) - you deserved it (10024)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (30509)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (40685)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14610) - you deserved it (3737)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)



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