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samoht1997

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samoht1997

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samoht1997's favorite FMLs

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (104368)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43405) - you deserved it (23676)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (658553) - you deserved it (442562)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13613) - you deserved it (124472)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a text message. My phone was sitting on the edge of the bed and set on vibrate, so it fell off. I reached down to grab my phone and fell off the bed. My macbook landed on top of me. I fractured my arm and broke my laptop to read a text from facebook. FML

#279648
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54820) - you deserved it (18976)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:06am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24587) - you deserved it (87641)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (130419)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13802) - you deserved it (46442)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111604) - you deserved it (263741)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50959) - you deserved it (20851)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (38057)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (121053)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79611) - you deserved it (24696)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)



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