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sammywhits

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sammywhits

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 679
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sammywhits's page activity

Visits<b>bkirky</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:56pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:27pm<b>replysnakes</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:25pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:39am<b>ironjawber</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 10:10am<b>xtise</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 3:43am

sammywhits's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sammywhits's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39152) - you deserved it (7086)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

#17516862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10628) - you deserved it (36214)

On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12595) - you deserved it (57766)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (17255)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39899) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (7543)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (4349)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

#15051482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (4898)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:04pm - health - by bouncekitty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (4446)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14345) - you deserved it (26979)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (6071)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6776) - you deserved it (38758)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (27552)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (5187)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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