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sammylove29

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sammylove29

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 642
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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sammylove29's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:23am

sammylove29's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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sammylove29's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59834) - you deserved it (10747)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (6482)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (74388)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37886) - you deserved it (9159)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34632) - you deserved it (18271)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (7770)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50579) - you deserved it (10860)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38307) - you deserved it (18135)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (8394)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13253) - you deserved it (79479)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39567) - you deserved it (14928)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44488) - you deserved it (11462)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36513) - you deserved it (3456)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50463) - you deserved it (4974)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36136) - you deserved it (3995)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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