sammylove29

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sammylove29

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1693
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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sammylove29's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:23am

sammylove29's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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sammylove29's favorite FMLs

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Work

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

by How strange / 04/20/2013 at 8:02am / United States / Love

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

by lamelifeguard / 04/19/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

by RaveCharlie / 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States / Love

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm / Bulgaria (Sofiya) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:51am / Money