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sammy92

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sammy92
  • Town/Country : Kona, Hawaii
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 4108
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sammy92 : Well I\'m a pro dancer...um... Just ask lol XD

sammy92's last visitors

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sammy92's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sammy92's favorite FMLs

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19094) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55218) - you deserved it (6813)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

#16891673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (3014)

On 06/28/2011 at 1:35am - misc - by veebenjoo - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9840) - you deserved it (59211)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

#15232480
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12342) - you deserved it (29602)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by tatfreak (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8828) - you deserved it (29139)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (4553)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

#15031237
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (7478)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm - misc - by rachel - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

#15017196
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (3547)

On 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Faluna (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

#14941696
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by allgrowedup - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

#14939182
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7454) - you deserved it (45823)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

#7873279
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (22279)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:51am - intimacy - by erin - Sent from mobile version



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