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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 September 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4718
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sammy92 : Well I\'m a pro Just ask lol XD

sammy92's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 8:57am<b>lazyninja334</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 10:04am<b>Michael978</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 2:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:08pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 11:25pm<b>lovelyolme</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 12:35am<b>Dragondreamers</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 10:09pm<b>Benpie</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:00pm<b>plsdonthateme</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 2:20am<b>completerubbish</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 12:59pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:02am<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:13pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 2:41pm<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 3:22am<b>muarif</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:04am<b>YDISM</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:05am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:59am<b>mcr101</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:28pm

Fucked!<b>colder13</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:12am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:27pm<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:04pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 9:22am<b>Awkward4thewin</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 4:33am<b>kikoma</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:52pm

sammy92's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sammy92's favorite FMLs

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 1:42am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

by wags34 / 08/22/2011 at 10:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

by veebenjoo / 06/28/2011 at 1:35am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

by cathouse / 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (North Down) / Animals

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

by iAMloud / 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Health

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

by tatfreak / 03/07/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

by thenotsomanlyman / 03/07/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Animals

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

by rachel / 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

by Faluna / 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

by allgrowedup / 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

by shredded / 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

by erin / 02/04/2010 at 9:51am / Intimacy