Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sammiesorrow29

Offline (40 minutes ago) | Search for a member

sammiesorrow29

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sammiesorrow29 : "Lord, make me aim fast and accurate. Let my aim be true, and my hand faster than those who would seek to destroy me. Grant me victory over my foes and those that wish to do harm to me and mine. "
"it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."

sammiesorrow29's page activity

Visits<b>vertencar</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:10am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:31pm<b>dave20012</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:32pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:45pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:32am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:05am<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:23pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:23pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:20am<b>stickydank420</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:34am<b>iSativa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:56am<b>prballer57</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:47pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:03pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:01pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:34pm<b>DaFunnyMa</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:40pm

sammiesorrow29's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of sammiesorrow29's badges

sammiesorrow29's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35194) - you deserved it (9152)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47359) - you deserved it (4415)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41498) - you deserved it (3700)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36794) - you deserved it (8294)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35623) - you deserved it (4211)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (2819)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41257) - you deserved it (3212)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (3444)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (5001)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36903) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (3253)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (5432)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: