![[fr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was on a first date. When the bill came, he refused to pay for my $6 salad. I had to go ATM-hunting to pay for my $6 salad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (7188)
On 03/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by wolfwolfy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (5098)
On 03/09/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by littlemissgullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7788) - you deserved it (11538)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (4174)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (15957)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (6914)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14922) - you deserved it (4840)
On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16398) - you deserved it (4155)
On 03/01/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by oboy - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (2424)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (2215)
On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5519) - you deserved it (13691)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5120) - you deserved it (7451)
On 01/07/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by a.baybay (woman) - United States
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (1684)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my sons Ps3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6863) - you deserved it (30816)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5756)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
