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sammi450

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sammi450

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  • Number of visits : 108
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sammi450's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

sammi450's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (9742)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (18868)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (3859)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (5466)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (15453)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (34856)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35446) - you deserved it (8239)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (5233)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

#18052733
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (4020)

On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14753) - you deserved it (72417)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27150) - you deserved it (4628)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44992) - you deserved it (5043)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (5592)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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